Binge.

Fuck.

Sometimes I just don't feel whole, you know? I feel completely empty. I've been doing great, the pounds have just been melting away, and now I go and fuck it all up.

I know everyone hates throwing up, but I HATE throwing up. I can't do it. It's the most horrible things. I reserve it for a couple times a year, like Thanksgiving and such...I don't want to throw up right now. I just wish I hadn't binged.

It's hard to tell now, but in high school, I was Miss Eating Disorder. I was too thin for my body type, but I liked it that way. Go laxatives and green tea!

I'm not trying to have an eating disorder now, shit, I have an eating disorder, only it's the opposite. Before, having nothing fulfilled me. Now, nothing fulfills me.

But, the good thing about falling off the goddamn horse is the opportunity to get right the hell back on. Tomorrow, workout for a half hour extra.

Shit happens.

On another note, I've been fucking my ex. I can't help it. I'm seven kinds of fucked up, innit?